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Old Dec 19, 2006, 02:09 AM // 02:09   #1
I Saw That
 
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The bushes
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Smile N00b's guide to guild wars!

Below is a very important list which all new players should read to introduce them to the ways of guild wars.

1. Beg for money whenever you need that extra 1 gold for something. Other players love giving away their hard earned cash.

2. If you are a warrior/monk, bring mending. After all, who needs energy?

3. Complain incessantly over local chat if you can't do something first try.

4. Don't wield weapons designed for your profession. Requirements? What requirements?

5. Run in and try to tank no-matter what profession you are.

6. Be a smiting monk and not tell anybody.

7. Who needs max armour?

8. Be a warrior monk

(I'm guilty of a few of these myself )

Any more ideas? Let's see how long the list can get!
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 02:12 AM // 02:12   #2
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yeah, yeah, the usual ...
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 02:21 AM // 02:21   #3
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ive been using willcrusher /w my ele cos it looks cool...
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 02:26 AM // 02:26   #4
I Saw That
 
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when i say "wield weapons not designed for your profession" i include secondary profession. I'm talking about the kind of thing that I did - wielded a shield + axe on my n/e. I just mean wielding a weapon that you can't meet the requirement of, something i have seen people do...
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 08:18 AM // 08:18   #5
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6. Be a smiting monk and not tell anybody.

I am guilty of this...and other things.
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 09:29 AM // 09:29   #6
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Location: Ocean Shores, Washington
Guild: Last Sun Rise
Profession: W/Mo
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u can add: when trading, drop items on ground instead of opening trade window
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 09:38 AM // 09:38   #7
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Guild: Phantom Flux (FLUX)
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Don't forget:

9. If you first don't succeed, blame someone else for your failure.
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 11:15 AM // 11:15   #8
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10. if 9. failed, blame the lag (u can also blame the mouse/keyboard)
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 11:38 AM // 11:38   #9
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11. If you are a Wammo, agro every mob in sight, die, scream "OMG FING NOOB" at your monk, then ragequit
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 11:43 AM // 11:43   #10
Desert Nomad
 
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12. Every so often come on the forum and spam "OMG Stupid Anet Nerfed my farming spot"
13. Never learn what mesmers do and put there killing u down to some kind of exploit
14. Never stop chasing ur target, even if he runs through other groups or if he is using various evasion techniques
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 11:43 AM // 11:43   #11
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15. Spam Res me when u die to make sure the monks get the message then Rage quit after 5 seconds of not being ressed
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 12:43 PM // 12:43   #12
(屮ಠ益ಠ)屮
 
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Location: Hong Kong
Guild: Guildless
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Always, always, always use caps. No matter what. And never use correct spelling, try to use 1337 as much as possible, and incorrect grammar gives brownie points.
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 03:27 PM // 15:27   #13
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Guild: The Cult of Scaro [WHO]
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Having agreed a trade price with a seller, instead of putting the gold in the window just chance it by putting in some crappy dyes...just to make sure you can't sway the seller to trade for 6 orange dyes instead of 15k.

After having watched a seller in a town spam "WTS 'The Uberness' for 100k + 5 ectos"...always, ALWAYS, whisper them several times asking how much they're selling it for even though they clearly said in the advert...after all, they may make a mistake and accidentally type 500g as their reply.

Another big tip: A weapon is ONLY perfect if it is a req 9 max damage sword with 20/20 sundering and +30HP mods on it, with a 15^50 inscription. Any other kind of weapon is not allowed to be described as perfect.

As soon as you get to Lions Arch, spam in Local Chat this exact message:

"Can sum1 tel m3 where 2 cap the elite skilz Healing Signet?"

...and when noone responds to you type this:

"ZOMG NOOOOOOBS"

Last edited by Cebe; Dec 19, 2006 at 03:31 PM // 15:31..
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 03:41 PM // 15:41   #14
Desert Nomad
 
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Above all Never, Ever Help out ur allies. This includes: Casting HH on Monks! Hela breeze on Eles, and Mending on mesmers! or looking after the mission npc

Name all your characters with the words Extra and Bacon
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 03:49 PM // 15:49   #15
Desert Nomad
 
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Location: Lost in the sands of time...
Guild: Blood Of Orr [BoO]
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If you are a male warrior, type /dance while facing any and all female characters.

Be sure to complain that the monks are not healing you enough. Say things like "OMG heal" "OMG nub heal me" "U suck monk" "Heal me u nub". Beacuse when the monks say they are low of energy, they are making it up.

Hold down Crtl and click over your weapon slot often to let everyone know you are in fact weilding a 1337 fiery dragon sword.

Hold down Ctrl and click over your Level bar often to let others know just how close you are to reaching that next level.

Ping on the map every .4 seconds and try to draw some nice immature images, That always scores points with your party.

Last edited by xxSilhouette; Dec 19, 2006 at 03:53 PM // 15:53..
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 03:58 PM // 15:58   #16
I dunt even get "Retired"
 
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82349) Because it was sadly removed from us, find the Spell Slasher build that used to be a PvP premade and use it in PvE. Since it's a premade, it must be good!

82350) Always sell things to Price Check Gurus in Price Check threads without holding an auction, since they obviously don't make their money by buying low and selling high and would never try to rip you off.

82351) When you see a bad thread somewhere, flame the @#*($ out of it because that's way more effective than using the report post button.

82352) When you send a PM to a moderator, send them hourly PMs until they reply, because obviously they never do anything but sit on GWG and are probably not in class, they're just trying to aggravate you.

82353) When in doubt, cry on the forums.

82354) If you ever make a thread about search not working, please make sure there isn't already one on the first page, at the top, highlighted, of Site Feedback.
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 05:45 PM // 17:45   #17
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Guild: 15 over 50 [Rare]
Profession: W/Mo
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If you're a sexy female character and find yourself being humped on by gang of wammos. Please feel free to type this line "i didn't know you kids like to hit on 60 years old man"
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 07:17 PM // 19:17   #18
Krytan Explorer
 
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Guild: The Gothic Embrace [Goth]
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I sold a leet crystalline sword for 3k back when no-one knew what one was and the most anyone had was 3k to spend on weapons d'oh. And I customised my perfect req 8 fire wand around the same time.
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 08:02 PM // 20:02   #19
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16.) If some d00d is selling his crap of leetness for 100k+15ecto and if asking what the price is won't help you should ALWAYS ask if he will trade it for your mini Varesh

17.) If you're short on cash make a monk and demand payment for missions/quests. People are more than willing to pay for your extraordinary services

18.) When playing a monk ALWAYS be an arrogant prick. This is very much appreciated by your team because in GW it means that you know what you're doing.

19.) When trading ALWAYS use local channel and spam your message repeatedly. People are just so thickheaded that they may not notice your bargain on non-max damage hammer first time, or second, or third...

20.) Best argument is calling said person n00b. ALWAYS
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Old Dec 19, 2006, 08:55 PM // 20:55   #20
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Guild: Scars Meadows [SMS] (Officer)
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21.) When looking for a run to droks make sure you spam the local chat and spell droknars wrong.

22.) always get max armor, it makes you l337!
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